“If your Brother sins against you…” Matthew 18:15 ESV¹

Read Matthew 18:15-22

When we first moved to our house, I purchased and planted hostas with pretty, bright-green leaves. To complement them, I planted live-forevers which I brought from our previous home and irises that a new neighbor gave me. It was the beginning of a beautiful flower bed, but there was still much open space. So, each Spring, I would add many annual plants like geraniums, marigolds, and impatiens. With consistent watering and weed pulling, I had a flower bed that earned me many compliments.

But the constant work was tiring. I thought if I added more perennials to my flower bed, I wouldn’t have to work so hard. So, one day, when I noticed wild lilies flourishing along the roadside near my home, I thought I had found exactly that for which I was looking. I was excited about the thought of planting fewer annuals. I imagined how the bright orange of the lilies would complement the purple hues of my other perennials.

Something in my spirit told me not to dig up those wild, roadside lilies and add them to my flower bed, but I justified my actions. It was not like the lilies belonged to anyone, and no one would notice or even care if I took them. So, I ignored that still, small voice warning me, and I added the wild lilies to my flower bed.

And, for a few years, those wild lilies did just as I had hoped. They looked beautiful alongside the other plants in my flower bed. They grew tall and broadened. The wild lilies filled in the open spaces so well that, for a few years, I didn’t even need to plant annuals.

But, as the wild lilies continued to grow, they began to send out underground roots. Shoots popped up in areas where I did not want lilies. Each of these shoots produced several underground nodes. Each node grew into a root that traveled elsewhere and sent up a shoot that continued to multiply. I attempted to pull out these shoots, but my efforts just broke off the leaves above the surface; what was underground continued to reproduce.

In hopes of keeping the wild lilies contained, I set up boundaries, but the lilies sent out roots under those boundaries, and shoots popped up on the other side. In that manner, the wild lilies began to take over my flower bed. They crowded the hostas. They prevented the live-forevers from thriving. And they all but killed the irises.

This situation reminds me of the enticing and ever-increasing power of sin. Before we fall into it, sin appears to be such a good idea. We are often tempted to succumb to sin when we think we are missing out on something or when we desire to take an easier route. Even when we see red flags, we can justify our willing participation in sin. For a while, sin may satisfy, but before long, it begins to take over and destroy that which is good and pure in our lives.

Since the lilies would not stay where I wanted them, since they could not be contained, and because they were killing the plants I had initially wanted them to complement, I realized I had to eradicate those wild, roadside lilies from my flower bed.

Similarly, Jesus instructed His closest disciples to deal with the sin in their own lives radically. “‘If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to Hell, to the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into Hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the Kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into Hell, “where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched”’” (Mark 9:43-48). Obviously, Jesus wasn’t commanding The Twelve to maim themselves, but He was calling them to do what it took to remove sin from their lives.

Then Jesus began to instruct The Twelve how to deal with the sin in other Christ-followers. It is understandable why Christ would have asked His disciples to purge the sin from their own lives, but why would Jesus expect His disciples to get involved in the rooting out of sin in the lives of others? The reason is that all Christians are connected. The sin in one member of Jesus’ Body will endanger others in the Body. Like the wild lilies in my flower bed, sin doesn’t stay contained; it spreads and negatively affects others.

Jesus taught His disciples to “turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:38) when dealing with the purposeful offenses of unbelievers. He could have given the same instructions concerning the offenses of a Brother or Sister in Christ, but He did not; too much is at stake to ignore sin in the Church. Jesus instructed, “‘If your Brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your Brother’” (Matthew 18:15). So, let’s break down what Jesus taught so that, in our attempt to obey this command, we don’t cause additional problems.

Brother, in this context, is referring to a fellow Christ-follower. As with a close family member, a Christian Brother or Sister is someone with whom you are intimately connected. Jesus is not telling us to confront just anyone. We have no responsibility to challenge the sin of someone with whom we have no relationship. Likewise, we have no business chastising those who are not Christians.

But we are instructed to privately go to a close Christian Brother or Sister when he/she has personally sinned against us. When offended by someone close to us, often, our first instinct is not to calmly and lovingly talk to him/her about it. We might instead attempt to ignore the hurt, but doing so will cause division in the relationship. The pain will eventually come out usually at an inappropriate time. More damage could result. Or we may be tempted to complain about the offense to others. As a result, we slander our Brother or Sister behind his/her back. This taints others’ opinions of your Brother or Sister and adds more sin on top of the original offense. The destructive wild lilies would never have been removed from my flower bed if I had ignored them. Complaining to others about how the wild lilies ruined my flower bed would never have solved the problem. I had to take action and confront the issue.

Maybe the offending Brother or Sister did not intentionally sin against his/her Spiritual Sibling. Perhaps he/she doesn’t even realize the hurt he/she caused. Our Brother or Sister will never know unless we say something. The hardest wild lilies to remove from my flower bed were not necessarily the largest; they were the ones which had worked themselves up close to the foundation of my home. Because of the difficulty in removing these, I could have ignored them. But I was familiar with their destructive nature. I knew if I didn’t completely remove the wild lilies, in a few years, I would be back doing the same purging. We all have blind spots, areas of sin that, for whatever reason, are hard for us to see on our own. For our good and the benefit of those around us, we need help identifying them and removing them.

When a close Christian Brother or Sister privately and lovingly comes to us concerning one of these blind-spot-sins, we are much more likely to be willing to repent and work at removing that sin from our lives. But sometimes, we need more than one person to open our eyes to the problem. Jesus continued, “‘But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses’” (Matthew 18:16).

Bringing other Christians into the situation has many benefits. Since he/she was unsuccessful the first time, having the support of others can give the offended the courage to revisit the situation. Being confronted by others who agree with the case of the offended can help the offender realize the seriousness of his/her wrong. But there is more than that in bringing others along with you. When there is conflict, often both sides are in the wrong. The offended might also be an offender having sinned and having added to the problem between Brothers and/or Sisters. Two or three others can give a fresh perspective and mediate between the two parties.

It was actually to prevent unfair or biased judgment and to give protection for the offending party, that Jewish law stated, “A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established” (Deuteronomy 19:15). Besides, Jesus promised, “‘Where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them’” (Matthew 18:20). If we, as Christians, bring other Christians with us to confront another Christian Brother or Sister, Jesus is there. If we allow Him, His Spirit will lead and guide the discussion and outcome.

Who better to tell her friends, neighbors, and loved ones not to plant wild lilies in their flower beds than one who has made that mistake? Who better than the Christian who has struggled with and successfully recovered from an addiction to warn his/her Brother or Sister of the pitfalls this sin? Who better than the Believer who has overcome sexual sin to exhort another Christ-follow run from this sin? But the Apostle Paul gives this warning, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1). Especially if we have previously fallen for the same sin with which our Brother or Sister struggles, we will need others praying for our resolve when we confront him/her. Having those prayer warriors with us when we face the Brother or Sister with whom we have an issue is a wise idea. It is not surprising that Jesus would have suggested it.

Sometimes, more than two or three need to get involved in the situation. Jesus continued, “‘If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the Church. And if he refuses to listen even to the Church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector’” (Matthew 16:17).

This may sound harsh. That is why this command comes only after the settlement of the issue is attempted in the other two steps. If done in the right way, this command is not about selfishness but love. It is not an excuse to promote prejudice but to foster respect. It is not for the purpose of condemnation but reconciliation. It is not a way to exact vengeance for a personal hurt but a way to restore harmony among Believers.

In his letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul speaks of an instance where a man was unrepentant and where the Church should have gotten involved, but they didn’t. “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you … you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 5:1-2, 5). Did you notice why Paul says the Corinthian Church should remove the sinful man from their presence? It was so that he could be saved, not destroyed!

Similarly, to the Thessalonians, Paul wrote, “If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a Brother” (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15). Any separation between the sinner and the Saints is intended to help the sinner desire to get right with God and to return to the Fellowship.

In his instructions to the Corinthians, Paul reiterates why it is so essential to deal with sin in the Church. “Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened … I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of Brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the Church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you’” (1 Corinthians 5:6-7a, 9-13). Do you see parallels between what Jesus taught and what Paul instructed?

Like the wild lilies in my flower bed, sin in the Church will spread and will cause damage if not purged. But it is delicate work. When I was removing the wild lilies from my flower bed, I had to individually remove each clump being careful not to harm the plants I wanted to keep. After digging out each mass of lilies, I had to get down on my hands and knees and comb through the dirt with my fingers searching for nodes I had missed and pulling out roots that had been snapped. I was able to save almost all of my domesticated perennials. I did have to sacrifice one of the hostas because it was so infiltrated by the lilies that it was impossible to separate them. I hope that hosta will be able to flourish among the wild lilies I returned to the roadside. Perhaps someday I will be able to transplant the hosta into my flower bed again.

When discussing the removal of sin in the lives of individual Believers and the Church as a whole, Jesus could have stopped there, but He did not. There is another level into which Jesus invites His Followers. It is an opportunity to emulate Christ. This is an invitation to walk more closely to Jesus. It is a privilege for all who wish to partake. It is, in fact, permission to storm the gates of Hell.

Jesus continued, “‘Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on Earth shall be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on Earth shall be loosed in Heaven’” (Matthew 18:18). This binding and loosing are attained through granting forgiveness in the context of prayer. The very next thing that came out of Jesus’ mouth was, “‘Again I say to you, if two of you agree on Earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in Heaven’” (Matthew 18:19). Later, Jesus told His Disciples, “‘If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld’” (John 20:23).

You have probably heard about studies that have been conducted proving that forgiveness benefits the offended. Though that is certainly true, I believe granting forgiveness has more significant spiritual ramifications. Just like sin in one Believer harms the whole Church, unforgiveness impacts eternity. Unforgiveness is itself a sin that leaves opportunities for Satan to get footholds in the Church and in the lives of individual Believers.

When, by forgiveness, one Believer looses another from the due penalty of his/her actions here on Earth, there is a loosing in the spiritual realm. Through forgiveness, Satan is bound concerning in the situation on Earth and is prevented from having any say in Heaven against those involved. Granting forgiveness protects the offended, the offender, their loved ones, and the Church as a whole.

This granting of forgiveness for the undeserving and unrepentant one is other-worldly. It is not natural or within our human capabilities. Because it is through the power of God, it can accomplish far more than we can even imagine. It is as if I had one fantastic product I could sprinkle on my flower bed which would prevent any new lilies from sprouting while simultaneously stimulating the healthy growth of the existing plants, a substance that would make a protective barrier against weeds while igniting the spontaneous growth of new, desirable plants, and something that would create healthy soil and make it as if the wild lilies had never been there. This thing does not exist in the physical world, but something supernaturally similar is available to us and can be tapped into through our granting forgiveness in the context of prayer.

Up until this point, Jesus had not said one word about forgiveness. So, you might think I am attempting to make this passage say something it doesn’t. But moving from the confrontation of a Brother or Sister to forgiving the same, wasn’t such a jump for The Twelve. While Jesus was teaching these things, “‘Peter came up and said to Him, ‘Lord, how often will my Brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Matthew 18:21-22).

Sinning, dealing with sin, granting forgiveness, or withholding the same are really spiritual concerns more than they are physical matters. They are more of an issue between God and humans than between individual people. The struggle is not ultimately between humans on Earth, but the battle is between good and evil in the heavenlies (see Ephesians 6:12).

King David lusted after another man’s wife. He seduced and, consequently, impregnated that woman. He tried to trick her husband into taking responsibility for the pregnancy. When the husband would not, David had the man killed. Yet, David lamented, “Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:4a).

After Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus told a parable about a servant who owed a king ten thousand talents. A talent was twenty years of wages. This servant owed the king as much money as ten thousand people would make in twenty years; it was an impossible amount of money to pay back. Because this servant begged the king, the king forgave his debt. But this servant didn’t have the same grace for a fellow servant who owed him one hundred denarii. A denarius was one day’s wage. This servant pleaded with the first servant for time to repay this relatively small debt considering what the first servant had owed the king. But the first servant had the second thrown in prison.

You see, we are like the first servant. We had a debt to God, which we were incapable of repaying. But Jesus paid our debt by living a perfect life on Earth and by being undeservedly punished, as He died on the cross while bearing our sin. We are forgiven because that forgiveness cost God. Compared to our debt to God, the debt owed us by our Brother or Sister who sinned against us is relatively small. “‘If you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses’” (Matthew 6:14-15).

Since all sin causes pain, forgiveness will cost those of us who have been offended. In forgiving, we will also have to assume the pain we would naturally wish upon our offender. Even if we considered the absolute necessity of forgiveness, how can we really forgive our Brother or Sister? We can’t without the help of God Himself. Thankfully, Jesus promises us His help. As mentioned earlier, Jesus declared, “‘For where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them’” (Matthew 18:20). We can’t wholly forgive; we can’t effectively pray; we can’t victoriously fight in the spiritual realm without the Holy Spirit. Praise God; He will never leave or forsake us (see Deuteronomy 31:6 & Hebrews 13:5). He will be “with [us] always to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20b).

Purging sin and imparting forgiveness can be taxing. Removing the wild lilies from my flower bed took over twice as long as I had hoped. Each time I worked in my flower bed, I was covered in dirt and sweat. My muscles were tired and sore. It took a few days for me to recover.

The great responsibility of removing sin and the awesome privilege of giving forgiveness take continued, diligent effort. After the first rain, a few lily shoots popped up in my flower bed where I had missed nodes and where roots had stayed hidden. Although severed from the original plant, the wild lilies continued to grow. When favorable conditions for sin are presented, sin which is not entirely dealt with will resurface. But, just as the longer I worked in my flower bed, the easier the job of removing the lilies became, because I knew where to look and how deeply to dig, once a system for eradicating sin is set in place, removal of sin will get easier, and the result will be more permanent.

Now my flower bed is pretty bear. But the plants which remain are receiving the water and sunlight they need. Once sin is removed from an individual and the Church, what is good, holy, pure, and showcases the glory of God can begin to thrive. It is then that there is room for more of that which is desired to be placed. In the Spring, I will have to add new plants and replace the soil where so much of it was removed when I took out the lilies. If I don’t, something, called weeds, which are worse than the wild lilies will take over my flower bed. The remaining space left void when sin is removed must be filled with the Holy Spirit, or it won’t be long before something worse than the original sin fills the empty space (see Matthew 12:43-45a).

Once we have gone through the work of clearing out the sin, personally and corporately, there is no end to what God can do. Now that I have so much empty space where the wild lilies had been, I might be able to do something totally different. Maybe I will not even fill the space with flowers. Perhaps I will put on a porch, something I never dreamed of doing when I started the process of removing the wild lilies. What an excellent way to enjoy my much smaller and much tamer flower bed!

 

¹ Scripture quotations marked with ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All Scriptures are taken from the ESV unless otherwise noted. To aid in understanding, I have capitalized references to God.